The soles of my favourite pumps came off on the way home today

And the reason why I like it so much is because it’s the most comfortable pair of shoes I currently own. Yep, even more than the Havianas (thanks to my deformed feet, wearing slippers can be pretty awkward sometimes.) And moreover, because it’s so damn cute. Well, anyway, as of all good things that seem to usually have an exceptionally short lifespan, this one died today.

Which got me thinking, that it’s the same with friendship isn’t it? Sometimes, the more comfortable you are with a person, the more friction there is between you and that person. Well, technically, if we were to use the shoe metaphor, the friction has to come first, but what I mean is that usually, when someone becomes a friend rather than merely an acquaintance, you tend to notice the flaws that you have overlooked when you still feel generally intrigued by that someone. And the effect amplifies when the friend becomes a close friend. And so on.

Of course I can mend it by glueing the sole back, but really, the shoes are kind of wrinkled already.

So you stop keeping in contact with some people. But I guess that is where the metaphor stops being applicable, because you don’t just throw away friends like that. (You do with spouses though) You have to ask yourself whether you can accept them, and remind yourself that they are probably in the same situation as you are. The best scenario is that both of you can have a good talk about it, and hopefully try to salvage the situation. That is, if the relationship was built on honesty and therefore, trust.

Now I know what’s missing between us. And it’s hard for me to accept or compromise without you knowing where the problem lies. Perhaps it will blow over eventually or I will eventually come to terms with it.

 

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