So, just admit that you are wrong. Admit to the right people, say you are sorry to actual people who MATTER, instead of crying out to some PRESENCE who might not even exist anyway. Even if it does to you, so what if HE forgives you? Does that right any wrongs you have done to these people?

I am so mad right now, seriously, I think I have lost all the respect I have for you. I used to look up to you, and if what you did was true, and you can’t offer a good enough explanation for what you did but to go back to the “it’s their fault, not mine. They brought me up this way and so (insert current situation)” standby, please FUCK OFF

There’s really a hell lot to do but there’s not many days left to exploit out of recess week. I just thought of a super solution to this: Sleep less, smile more.

Let’s hope that works. lol.

Not again. Please.

It’s really time to quit playing SGS, but really if I were to graduate this semester, shouldn’t I try to enjoy varsity life as much as possible? ie. Hanging out at campus and not studying

But sometimes. -.

Oh well, at least I’m busy. Instead of being angsty over some silly issue. With the exception of these two days because of my period. And cramps. Smacked right on the night of Rachael Yamagata’s concert… WHICH WAS FREAKING AWESOME BTW. Even though we were LATE (well, not really, we were waiting for a friend) and missed the first two songs, one of which was BE BE YOUR LOVE  but oh well she sang almost all of my favourite songs, including SUNDAY AFTERNOON, which I cannot stop listening to now. It’s one of those songs that makes you want to slit your wrist and drink your own blood, but that isn’t really the main reason why I love it. I love the images from the lyrics, the melody, the poignant pauses, the mounting of the emotions and her husky vocals that seams everything together.

It’s nearly 12! Time to start on Measure for Measure and get a decent outline before meeting DARK MOVEMENT on wednesday. Hahahha I’m kinda excited and rather intimidated though cos he has a freaking tattoo. I’ve always wanted to talk to people with tattoos because there’s usually a story behind every tattoo. Especially if it’s some weird looking photo instead of a QUOTE. No prizes for guessing who :p

And the reason why I like it so much is because it’s the most comfortable pair of shoes I currently own. Yep, even more than the Havianas (thanks to my deformed feet, wearing slippers can be pretty awkward sometimes.) And moreover, because it’s so damn cute. Well, anyway, as of all good things that seem to usually have an exceptionally short lifespan, this one died today.

Which got me thinking, that it’s the same with friendship isn’t it? Sometimes, the more comfortable you are with a person, the more friction there is between you and that person. Well, technically, if we were to use the shoe metaphor, the friction has to come first, but what I mean is that usually, when someone becomes a friend rather than merely an acquaintance, you tend to notice the flaws that you have overlooked when you still feel generally intrigued by that someone. And the effect amplifies when the friend becomes a close friend. And so on.

Of course I can mend it by glueing the sole back, but really, the shoes are kind of wrinkled already.

So you stop keeping in contact with some people. But I guess that is where the metaphor stops being applicable, because you don’t just throw away friends like that. (You do with spouses though) You have to ask yourself whether you can accept them, and remind yourself that they are probably in the same situation as you are. The best scenario is that both of you can have a good talk about it, and hopefully try to salvage the situation. That is, if the relationship was built on honesty and therefore, trust.

Now I know what’s missing between us. And it’s hard for me to accept or compromise without you knowing where the problem lies. Perhaps it will blow over eventually or I will eventually come to terms with it.